Category Archives: beer

a tree falls victim to drunken office chair riding

there will be a photo filled post of the Invasion of the Tourists alleycat very soon! There would have been one today, but an unexpected ride last night with new friends put the kabosh on that, but stay tuned! there’s lots of great pics and of course the announcement of the fastest person in key west!

and now a short rant about irresponsible office chair riding:

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Sights like this are sobering and scary. Drunk kids, maybe all hopped up on meth or coffee (or both!) joyriding and endangering the citizens and trees of our quaint and quiet little island. I really hope nobody was injured and the tree will continue to grow and be healthy. I also hope enough people saw this carnage to help others from making the same mistakes.

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Pollard caught a shot of the same mess in the daylight and emailed it to me with the subject, “Seating apparatus violence up in the Keys‏.” It is frightening to think about how many people could have been crushed under that massive branch as it fell from the traumatic impact of the office chair.

Piers and Beers II (last week!) not to be confused with two weeks ago or tonight! (ha! all that was written over a week ago, so 2 is three and stuff)

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Pollard and I flashing the K W, a hand gesture popular with the fixie gangs of the island. Word life.

I almost decided not to write a post, but only a really, really long title; but alas, I cannot insert photos into the title area; and what would a KWVelo post without photos be like? I’ll tell you. It’d be like a post with no run-on sentences or blurry photos that is written well. That shall not happen tonight; its late, I’m weeks behind on writing, its raining, I need to shower (which will be fun in the rain), I am tired and don’t feel like writing a whole lot. Here’s some pictures:

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We’ll start with Mike’s underwear. Yep, this blog has sunk to new levels of WTFness. This seemed funny at the time. Hopefully it”ll be funny tomorrow morning.

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Pollard has grown a tradition of doing a crazy trackstand at every ride. There’s another shot of him on the Simonton Pier a few posts back and I would hyperlink it if I wasn’t concerned with making this an exceptionally crappy post unto itself!

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The Western Union and the Moon. Can you guess which is in dry dock and which is a celestial object? I knew you couldn’t!

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Horray for Republic Underwear! Well done Mike! I hope, no… I expect and endorse, that someday this image becomes as iconic as The Kramer. This photo facinates me into realms of mispellings. The cigarette, the socks, the look of a disgruntled factory worker toiling away 12-16 hours a day; this should be on the freakin’ cover of Life. Well, if it still exists!?!? Does it? Are those shorts. short pants, coulottes or Gauchos?

Well, all the above was written a weeks ago and here I am now; hours away from tonights’ ride. Last week was St. Patty’s Day and my birthday and the two year anniversary of Fixed Gears and no ride. There’s a bunch of sweet photos from other rides I need to post…and will….on island time. Manana. or next week. wheneva. Anyways, we’re riding at 10pm, come on down to the shop 945ish for air and lube. or buy shit and make the bossman proud of me. or not. lets just ride and await pollards trackstandstarness for the night.

Piers and Beers

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There’s a jolly group of us who frequently embark upon late night rides we call “pier tours.” We tend to ride to a bunch of piers, beaches, lanes and generally have some fun just pedaling around with lose goals of where to go. A few weeks ago we decided to make it kind of official and invite people and call it Piers and Beers. Six showed up, all on fixies; which was not planned; but certainly was fun!

The Wednesday game plan is arrive at Fixed Gears @ 421 Simonton between 930pm and 10pm for air and chain lube, leaving at 10. We try to finish up at Finnegans’s Wake at midnight to catch the late night happy hour and 1/2 price veggie menu…which is hella bangin’. Its been all fixies so far, which we all like, but freewheels won’t be turned away…just harassed. We ride pretty fast so cruisers and mountain bikes would not be too much fun! And really hard to ride backwards. Other, more inclusive rides are being planned, so don’t hate…just get a fixie!

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We keep changing and adding rules and ideas about where to ride. Presently, there’s a deck of badly handdrawn cards of locations to ride to and we all pick one at the start of the ride and also pick the first spot to go. At the first stop someone “plays” their card (all are secret) for the next place. At the next spot, someone else plays their card and we go there. Sounds confusing? Well, that’s because A. its a constantly changing thing and we are confused ourselves and B. I did a shitty job trying to explain it.

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White Street Pier is closed, but we still ride to it and dream of riding out on it again soon. Actually, i am not sure anyone dreams about it, but we all agree that “Rip Rap Repair Job” is funny.

Anyways, grab your fixie, come on down to Fixed Gears for free air and chain lube and enjoy a few hours of pedaling with no particular place to go.

office chair all crashed up and sad looking on Truman Ave

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This is an example of when drunken office chairing goes wrong. We’ve all been a little irresponsible before, in our younger years with drinking and operating office chairs. Some of our three of four readers may remember the first office chair post advocating for cyclists to open their hearts and bike racks to our office chair brothern. But scenes like this are chilling.

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The beer can can be seen much more clearly in this photo from a different angle. Its obvious why this office chair was wrecked into the sidewalk and abandoned. I really hope nobody was hurt. Perhaps the real cause was a charging chicken, but I doubt that. I still wish to share the racks, roads and sidewalks with my office chair riding brothers and sisters, but we, as a family of green transportationists, must curtail this kind of irresponsible riding.

more exciting coca-cola crate pictures

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Cookies! I took this while camping at Burlingame State Park in Rhode Island and commuting to the beaches every morning. As seen here, the crates work quite well to carry an assortment of beach sundries including cookies. I really like cookies! The cool thing about camping here is Blue Shutters beach and miles of preserved beach are a free few minutes away by bike! Watch Hill, which will cost you $20-$30 to park a car for the day, is about an hour away pedaling casually and its free to lock up your bike! Very creative beach there too; there’s always some amazing sand sculptures, seaweed and stick sculptures and all kinds of other nice wierdness. Including fog! Many mornings we would arrive to thick fog, but as the sun rose higher, it’d burn away revealing a wonderful view of the ocean and surrounding cliffs.

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Firewood collecting in the Everglades and beer transportation logistics; a winning combination!! Wandering around, breaking large branches, on uneven, potholey rocks can work up quite a thirst! Luckily, it was possible to stay hydrated and collect firewood for the night’s fire. Or the afternoon’s smokefest to keep bugs at bay while cooking or engaging in other campwork.

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This isn’t my bicycle! Three or four years ago I had a great conversation with a woman I think was named Cheryl at the Parrot. Somehow bicycles and crates and baskets came up and she described the red crate on her rack. T’was the same one I had! She had also stuck some highly reflective stickers onto the basket which I promptly did to my own basket; it was a great idea!

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This is my bicycle at the Parrot! Woo-haaa! One night around this same time period, back when I was only visiting and had begun driving my van down I awoke very confused. I had slept in my van and my bike wasn’t inside! How did someone get inside and steal it with me in there too!?!? A walk to the Parrot for an afternoon beer solved the mystery. My bicycle was already there, waiting for me…still locked up from the night before…

sunday night pier tour

Four fixies decided to go for a nice Sunday night ride. Actually, there were to be six of us, but the Patricks were a no show. boooooo! They did join us afterward for beer and noshes at the midnight happy hour at Finnegan’s Wake. mmmm….wings with wasabi dipping sauce! The night began at Fixed Gears where we tightened chains, lubed links and topped off tires. Amy suggested a pier tour so we headed to Simonton Beach. It seemed like three of us were out to pop a tire that night with flagrantly flashy skidding. There’s a wonderful slickness to many streets when its wet here, making for some fun slalom skidding around obstacles and around corners.

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John decided trackstanding on the narrow Simonton Beach Pier wasn’t enough of a challenge, so here’s a pic of him doing it one handed. wooo-haaa! I opted for a backwards circle at the Duval/South Beach Pier.  Actually, the full, real name is Emma Carrero Cates Pier. She was a Key West City Commissioner for 18 years, helped preserve many beaches in Monroe County as well as being a large part of the creation of South Beach. Thanks Emma!

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Beware of Jumping Sharks!

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Never a dull moment in Key West, even if this pic looks totally casual; nothing exciting, just another day in the Conch Republic. Damn i love living here! Although, not a pier, we stopped at that little park thingee near Casa Marina, rode by lots of fishermen at the White Street Pier and ended the tour with a nice rest at the sanctuary pier. Well, i guess its a boardwalk through a tiny remaining wetland area, and it ends on a tiny beach; but we like to think of it as a pier; it is Key Wierd!

FREAKING COLD!!!!!

Ok, mother nature, we need to talk. First, it is Monday and quite sunny. Thank you. We all needed some sunshine! But i must digress, or be distressed, or just pissed about the weather yesterday. ARRRGGG!!
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I had to wear arm warmers and a hat inside the shop to keep warm. ARM WARMERS! They helped a lot and i hoped it would help sell some of the varieties we sell at Fixed Gears, but not too many people were out and about. Every time i had to brave the cold i had to add a scarf and jacket. I know what y’all nawtheners must be thinking about my 50 degree tirades, but it really is an issue in Key West. Very few places have heat, including businesses, schools and homes. There are emergency homeless shelters opening up. I have certainly lost my thick blood, but would still enjoy some crazy downhill snow hill biking with my friends back in Hartford, Connecticut. Bless y’all! That looked fun and I am sure I could survive if I wore most of the mountaineering and winter camping gear I have packed away.

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A lot of the bars here are pretty much outdoors and that makes drinking to forget about the cold kinda a lesson in futility. Jonathon was having drinking issues with a full face mask at the Alamo. We are still all getting drunk. And we are still all cold. Yep. Sooooo….  I’m not really sure where else to go with all that….

The BeatBikeBlog has some tips for winter riding that might help us here on the island, or at least make for some funny reading.

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Toubab Krewe did an amazing job keeping everyone at the Parrot warm the last few nights with beats and music that caused widespread dancing and dancing and happiness. West African music and southern rock!? I am not sure how to describe it except… GREAT! I missed seeing this band last year and I am super grateful I got to see them finally for a few sets. Many blessings on your tour and please return soon…especially if its cold!